Down again

Dear Mum,


I'm exhusted, I'm low on energy and smiling is a huge effort at home.

Today I'm going for counselling and I hope this helps me through this phase in my life which I'm sure I will never look back on.

If it were not for Sunny, I' d probably be in pieces and although I feel like that on the inside, I can manage - I feel I'm stronger then that. I think if anything went a little against me today, that will be me done for the day. I just can't take much right now.

I'm not even missing times before anymore. I know that the only option is to move forward and that it - things will never be the same. No matter what.

I can't believe that he thinks he can shout in my face and grab me like that - I don't even trust him anymore.


I wish I could pack my things and leave. Just live me life. Do well in my final year and get away from him. I want nothing to do with him anymore. Now Sunny feels really uncomfortable and I don't know how to help him there. If it's not me making him feel uneasy then how can I stop it?

I'm glad there is someone there to look out for me. Dad has no right to ever make me feel like I don't belong there. The worst thing about dad is that he puts his string of women before me and I don't understand where he is coming from.

He says I'm an adult and I don't need parents like I used to. But of course not, I can do most things without help but he has pretty much left me to live like an orphan. I don't need to do anything to make her feel welcome and I don't see why I should go out of my way to make her smile. Surely I should be able to express my feelings in the house without having to fake it with certain people. Some people don't understand that repect is earnt.