Dear Mum,
I need you. I feel extremely down and it is because I am trying to sort my life out. It feels like a shock to my system.
There are certain people in life who make us better. There are people that make us believe things, live in a world full of illusion and I have recently realised that there is a real world out there. I feel scared to step into it.
In my world of illusion, I have confidence, I am important and beautiful. I am also very vulnerable, easily manipulated and weak. Although the negative feelings I have in this world are not helpful, they balance with the good pretty well and and even though it is not great, I am use to it.
In reality, I still feel beautiful, emotionally strong and generally we rounded I lack the confidence, I am not as important and still feel weak. However I am not easily manipulated, I am not used and I am not reliant on anybody.
I met a girl today who really made me feel hurt. She is in this fantasy world which I was in but in comparison to me, she was very proud. She was very pleased with her body, though highly of herself intellectually and as a whole felt she was just better than me. I am experienced enough to know that with over confidence are some really insecurities and I am pleased to know that I do not have that problem. She is just another woman who will be realising what I realise now; the difference is that I have realised now but she still has a long way to go.
Mum, you always made me feel perfect and I had slice of that in the crazy unreal world. I know now that no matter where I am, I can keep your world with me and believe no matter where I am - so I choose reality.
It is time for me to face the hardship ahead of me. It is time for me to let go.
So getting into a career will not be easy but I can make a start at it. I have training videos in the palm of my hand and Sunny is going to get me through the exam and qualified.
My body is my temple. I should start believing this. My body is precious and I need to start again a program of gym sessions to keep it well and healthy. And no smoking!
My mind need conditioning and I guess I could visit this place more often and get out of my system these negative thoughts in my head. It drives me crazy. I should pamper myself more.
I have learnt a lot this last year. I have learnt that people will lie to me to get what they want or spare themselves and argument. These people are cowards and are weak people who are no good for me.
I need you. I feel extremely down and it is because I am trying to sort my life out. It feels like a shock to my system.
There are certain people in life who make us better. There are people that make us believe things, live in a world full of illusion and I have recently realised that there is a real world out there. I feel scared to step into it.
In my world of illusion, I have confidence, I am important and beautiful. I am also very vulnerable, easily manipulated and weak. Although the negative feelings I have in this world are not helpful, they balance with the good pretty well and and even though it is not great, I am use to it.
In reality, I still feel beautiful, emotionally strong and generally we rounded I lack the confidence, I am not as important and still feel weak. However I am not easily manipulated, I am not used and I am not reliant on anybody.
I met a girl today who really made me feel hurt. She is in this fantasy world which I was in but in comparison to me, she was very proud. She was very pleased with her body, though highly of herself intellectually and as a whole felt she was just better than me. I am experienced enough to know that with over confidence are some really insecurities and I am pleased to know that I do not have that problem. She is just another woman who will be realising what I realise now; the difference is that I have realised now but she still has a long way to go.
Mum, you always made me feel perfect and I had slice of that in the crazy unreal world. I know now that no matter where I am, I can keep your world with me and believe no matter where I am - so I choose reality.
It is time for me to face the hardship ahead of me. It is time for me to let go.
So getting into a career will not be easy but I can make a start at it. I have training videos in the palm of my hand and Sunny is going to get me through the exam and qualified.
My body is my temple. I should start believing this. My body is precious and I need to start again a program of gym sessions to keep it well and healthy. And no smoking!
My mind need conditioning and I guess I could visit this place more often and get out of my system these negative thoughts in my head. It drives me crazy. I should pamper myself more.
I have learnt a lot this last year. I have learnt that people will lie to me to get what they want or spare themselves and argument. These people are cowards and are weak people who are no good for me.
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